Wednesday, October 31, 2007

An Empty Embassy

The US diplomatic core has virtually gone on strike as the result of the decision to fire diplomats who won't go to Iraq.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Why California's Burning

I was wondering why California was burning. I thought it may have had to do with droughts from global warming, wreckless suburban expansion, or misdirected water resources. It turns out I was wrong all along. It's divine vengeance (hell fires?) for "hating America." According to Glenn Beck, the radio host:

I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Fatten them up first with chocolates

This is a bit disconcerting: All a professor has to do is hand out chocolate before evaluations and the scores all go up!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Assign the punishment

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off. Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying: "Cindy, you have sinned."

Friday, October 05, 2007

What you don't know can't hurt you!

What do you do when massive corruption is documented in the country you're occupying? If you're Rice, you classify it.